Sleep training is, by far, the most common query I receive on DMs. It dominates the thoughts of many parents or really anyone with a child in their lives. In this week’s issue of @newyorkermagSam Knight discusses the topic (link in bio) and describes their experience working with Brenda Hart, a London based sleep coach with a cult following. Their description reminded me a bit of @nannyconnie , whose book I read with great interest as a new mother. Actually, she reminded me a bit of Mrs. Doutbfire and Mary Poppins too, for good reasons.
We could get into a deep debate about sleep training versus attachment theory and we could make a good argument on both sides but my personal opinion is there’s a way to achieve a balance of both. This article does a good job of highlighting the biggest benefit of a sleep coach, teaching parents self confidence.
When I became a mother, one of the more common passive aggressive comments I received was the rhetorical question, “this is your first born, isn’t it?” And let’s be fair, the fourth trimester is a beast of hormones, identity restructuring, and marriage restructuring, among other things. It’s possibly the first time in your life you know wholeheartedly you’d take a bullet for another human. So when your little one is crying out for you with all of their might, it feels impossible to turn a blind eye. Especially if there’s any, and I mean ANY doubt it could be doing harm. Well that’s where the sleep coach comes in….to reassure you it’s ok. You’ve never been through this before, how else would you know? Other cultures and generations may have or had older generations, aunties, or other close relations to do the “coaching.”
The main takeaway message I want new parents to know is you don’t need the $1500 bassinet, the most exclusive sleep coach in the city, or any other magic. You need a plan and the confidence to stick to it! For some, professional guidance helps a lot! The earlier you start the easier it will be!
Did you sleep train your first born baby?